so long we become the flowers

Courier, 12 pnt font, take a point off my essay this is WAY swaggier to read.

So I’m writing because I recently wrote a long post about love and art and stuff and while it was very wonderful it may have also actually been overwhelming. plz refer to long happy go lucky post here
 
yes, love, yes, art. yes good people, good things. but every morning you have to wake up and 
 
music is everything but when do i fit in guitar when I have class and work and i wanna write but what do i say and what’s worth it 
ah amelia. I made it seem so easy. I think I was just on that theme– that good feeling when I was writing that! Cause it was your birthday and I was just so like !!! love!!! 
 
and yes, love.
 
but how exactly do I bring around summer camp girl. 
 
just thinking about her won’t get you there, Elise. 
 
what does it mean to have an “innermost self”? 
 
to express? where do i find my innermost self to express exactly? 
 
 
day to day it feels like just that, day to day.  and i’m here and I’m me and I try to add spark but things are gray a little , especially in the seconds between things when I want something to feel, somewhere to go, something to say,
 
but it’s just a little empty. I’m just a little empty. 
 
I haven’t really felt connected to much lately. music itself doesn’t give me purpose cause it’s just practice a lot of the time, or well I don’t know cause I love it but sometimes I’m like what’s the point but then I’m like ahh cause I like it but it’s hard cause there’s always someone to compare it to and always something better but I know it’s not about being better but still it feels discouraging 
but also
I do love music
it’s everything 
and there are so many little songs in me, I know. and songs around me. I know 🙂 hum girl raspy. 
 
breathe in.
hum out. 
 
breathe in 
hum out 
 
 
 
 
breathe in 
 
 
 
hum out 
 
 
 
 
 
 
hum girl raspy
give me a kiss
 
 
hum girl raspy 
 
sing a song like this 
 
 
hum girl raspy 
 
 
the colors that she think
 
 
hum girl raspy 
raindrops fall and sink 
 
 
hum girl raspy 
 
she’s sitting on the beach 
hum girl raspy 
where eyes and sunset meet
breathe in salt 
 
air 
 
hair 
 
breathe in ocean 
singing there 
 
i’m sayin 
breathin music 
 
her voice like falling sand
 
give her the music 
 
her heart will take your hand 
 
mmm hmm mmmm
hum girl raspy 
 
a purple sun 
 
hum girl raspy 
singing when the day is done
 
morning 
sunrise 
she’s hummin to the sky 
 
baby kiss her 
she floats like butterflies
 
hum girl raspy 
 
give me a kiss
 
dancing with your voice 
 
a sunset undress 
 
oh honey 
hum girl raspy 
 
she’s dreamin sunlight air 
 
hum girl raspy 
throw that tension from your hair 
 
 
 
Love you Amelia. I can’t say I always feel connected the way that I made it out to be. but it’s really the moments in between things that I feel most peace. It was actually in the moment below (captured in two separate videos cause snapchat messed me up) that I was sitting on the grass under this big fat oak tree just looking at this little piece of the sky with some leftover sunset colors, mostly purple 🙂 you had sent me and Gabrielle a beautiful text about  In a Week by Hozier and i felt so present with it. in that moment, I felt very connected to myself and that song and the sky and the earth. a small moment of breath. 
FullSizeRender 16
<–hehe ur drawing about it
i have never known hunger like these insects, that feast on me. our heartbeats becoming slow. we lay here for years or for hours. so long we become the flowers. two corpses we were, two copses I saw. 
I’d be home with you
I’d be home with you
 

right now it’s 4:53 am (don’t tell my mom) and I’m very awake and there’s a warm wind storm so I’m on my roof haha. I tried to take a video of the stars to this song but that didn’t work so I took one of some stuff on my desktop. Days are days are days are days, but they are made of little moments of poetry and peace and people that guide us through. Love you amelia. ~so long we become the flowers 

 

 

luv peace

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